


Hopelessness

by ToastyDehmer



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: ...if theres no plot can it even be called that?, AU, I blame not sleeping for this plot-bunny, Vampire AU, diary format, kind of?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-03
Updated: 2018-07-03
Packaged: 2019-06-01 19:49:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15150557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ToastyDehmer/pseuds/ToastyDehmer
Summary: One of the people who retained their memories told me the species name I was looking for was 'vampire'. I have no memory of the word nor what it means so...I don’t know if that’s right or not. I do know it sounds cliche to my ears. I am unsure why.





	Hopelessness

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Безысходность](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18129284) by [bitari](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bitari/pseuds/bitari)



> Was having trouble sleeping one night and somehow came up with this AU. Finally wrote something after a few days.

I’m….

My name is **Connor**. And...I’m not an **android**. But I  don’t think I could even be considered human either at this point. To be honest...I’m not sure what I am - not that I would begin to know. It’s kind of a struggle to do that when the majority of your **memories** are gone. I don’t mean forgotten. If something is forgotten, it can be remembered. No. I mean gone.

I know I used to work at **CyberLife**. With? In? I-I’m not sure. I do know at the very least I was a model. A reference material for them. They used my face and my voice to sculpt a prototype **android**. Even went as far as to give it my own name. **Connor**. The only part of my name I remember.

I can’t recall my middle or last name. Or a family. Or a home. Or a childhood. I’ve been told I never will. Side-effect of...whatever this is that’s happened to me. Or so Kamski has told us. Not everyone is affected the way I am but apparently it’s common enough if the amount of others like me in Jericho is anything to go by.

...It’s getting harder to provide for them all. We all wonder where is our next meal coming from? How are we going to keep the **deviants** alive? Are we going to stay here, stagnant and slowly losing hope? I don’t know. I don’t have the answers and neither do Josh, North, and Simon. We sit here, bringing back those who need our help but we’re losing traction - fast. There’s so many of us now. Nearing a hundred-fifty in total. A staggering number to think of. Of that number, about twenty-nine are what I am, myself included. That’s twenty-nine who need ‘food’. A warm shelter. Clean water. Warmth and water are easy enough. It’s the food that’s becoming progressively harder to come by with how many mouths it needs to go to.

Blood.

We need blood to survive.

We need blood to keep our strength. Blood to stay healthy. To regenerate. To be fast. To be alive.

One of the people who retained their **memories** told me the species name I was looking for was **vampire** . I have no **memory** of the word nor what it means so...I don’t know if that’s right or not. I do know it sounds cliche to my ears. I am unsure why.

We can run faster than any human can. Any **android** can. Stronger too. We hear and see and smell so many more details than any computer could ever pick up. Whatever wound we retain heals within seconds, minutes if it’s grievous enough. So far we’ve collectively found we can’t die under normal circumstances. From a bullet to the head, heart, stomach, a limb chopped off. Not that we’ve tried finding out on purpose. Some of us have had the unfortunate circumstances of experiencing that. The only thing that hasn’t happened is decapitation.

None of us are keen to test if the theory holds true there.

Still...I wonder if we’ll ever know our limits. It’s frightening to think about. We’re seemingly invincible - so long as we have the necessary blood. The more we need to regenerate, the more blood we need to consume. If we don’t, the healing with slow. At some point it will completely stop. We lost one of us because of it.

A young girl.

It’s….terrifying to think about. Grim, gruesome, and depressive. It was an accident. Something in the rafter of the hull finally gave way and a beam fell. It- it crushed her legs and stomach. There was nothing left to feed her and she died there in my arms as the internal bleeding went on.

I- I’m sorry. I don’t want to think about that any longer. Please forgive me for moving on.

…..I don’t know what to do. Our contacts in **CyberLife** are doing all they can to siphon us the necessary thirium and biocomponents to keep the **androids** here going. As are the few we have among the eighteen blood banks in Detroit. But they can only do so much when most of us need at least one and a half units of blood a day to keep going. That’s cutting it close. Almost too close.

Some of it comes from humans. A few of us will go out each night and find someone no one will believe. Someone on the streets. Someone people wouldn’t think reputable. Usually it’s the homeless. Or those completely drunk. We drink, we leave them alive, and we cover our trails back to Jericho. It’s the only ‘safe’ way to acquire blood without the aid of a blood bank. I still worry about those bites somehow coming back to our home. Our refuge. Our one place to be safe.

I’m scared.

We’re slowly dying one by one. If something doesn’t change...I fear what may happen. What may _need_ to happen.

I wish I had my **memories**.

I wish we didn’t need to hide.

I wish I knew what to do.

I wish….I wish I didn’t have to wish.

….

My name is **Connor** . I have no **memories** of my life before becoming what I am now to speak of. I’m hiding from the world along with everyone else like me - including the **deviants**. We’re slowly dying here in this old, rusting hull of a freighter boat and we’re losing hope. I don’t know what to do or where to go from here and my people are suffering for it. Everyday is harder than the last. Food is becoming scarce. We can barely provide for ourselves. It’s getting to us. It’s getting...to me.

My name is **Connor** ….and I’m lost.

**Author's Note:**

> Don't know if I'll ever be adding more onto this. If anything, I'd return to it when I need a break from the main fic I've been working on - like now. This was a plot bunny in my head that wouldn't leave me alone. Thought I could get that out by rping the character in this AU but no one would bite. Hence, I typed this bullshit up.
> 
> Let me know what you think. Seriously. Good? Bad? Too cliche? Interesting?
> 
> ALSO!!! Does this feel in character to you for Connor? He's the same boy. Still aloof and odd - just an amnesiac human version.
> 
> Btw, I still wanna rp this butt. Wish me luck.


End file.
